You can guarantee whoever you fly with, the menu will definitely taste better than the food. Mmn, card. But this is all part of flying's charm. The portions wouldn't suffice for even the Tiniest of Tims, the most pocket-sized of Polly's and the spongy plastic cutlery is as useful as throwing your food into the air and wishing it into bite sized segments. But I wouldn't change a thing. If nothing else, it serves as a reality check for the normal, nice tasting grub that usually passes your lips, either side of the plane journey (a reverse taste explosion sandwich, if you will). So who cares if your in-flight pasta has a mild bakelite-tang or possesses top notes of polypropylene. It's MEANT to be that way! Learn to love it, like you did brussel sprouts, menthol cigarettes and that bubbling tofu dessert they once served you on a cold night in Roppongi.
The menu design however, is another world (top, above is Virgin Atlantic's best). Like old fashioned airline posters, they always shout sophistication, class and cool. It says, 'look at me! Hark, at the whimsical and delightful morsels within!' Even though it is essentially for show, as the offer is always the same as that documentary, Airplane: steak or fish (actually more likely chicken as it keeps it's squishy juices on reheating. Mmn). Or if you fancy getting fed first; veggie, vegan, lacto-surprise, wheat-free, gluten-free, fun-free, low-fun and so on. The menu, is at best, some fancy pomp, politely handed out for the sheer sake of tradition and polite distraction. But why not? Anything to take our minds off the fact we're flying. Like a massive painted bird or a welly at a wanging contest...
Don't forget I can't speak for those who lounge in first class, where the grub is certainly sweeter. Even so, the champagne's awash before take-off, so I think after that, anything would taste good.
Of course the best menu design is that of yesteryear. Full of promise, laden with quaint Enid Blyton sounding dishes, they have some hilarious turns of phrase: a 'hard' roll! At least it's honest. A chicken pie 'mainliner.' What! And who is Charlotte Colville? But, they make you sit up a little straighter just looking at them, right? Take a look below. I defy you not to want to precede everything in life with a fancy carte du jour. Even your daily to-do list...*
And yes, that little boy is definitely talking to his bread roll. Must be the bends.
* Here's one of the many things I would do if I had all the money in the world: open a restaurant shaped like a plane, recreating all the dishes off these past time menus. Every hour, the whole place shakes, recreating some mild 'turbulence,' just around Charlotte Colville time. The stewards would sing the safety demo, and if it's your birthday the Captain awards you an exciting Birthday Cravat, which also doubles as a life raft. There might be saxophones. You may be encouraged to dress like it's 1962. It's niche. Anyone fancy stumping up the cash?
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